where do I go now?

I didn't expect this to happen. Only to me. The person who needs to have everything planned. I planned on going to Langara college in Vancouver this september. Today we had an orentation to to visit the place and for them to get to know us. There were 120 of us, only 28 would get accepted into the program. Intake is once a year. Going to the orentation I thought I had a good chance, I think i'm alright at photography. Don't get me wrong I'm not amazing but I do know my stuff.... Or so I thought. College is scary. I realized we are SPOILED at SCS. You walk into the classroom, the environment is cold and distant. Teachers seem nice but I am way to scared to talk to them. They gave me a weird vibe and I didn't feel comfortable. The tour was amazing I loved the school and the studios were amazing. We sat down in the lecuire hall (Pretty sweet, you see them in movies. But it was ten times smaller) they showed us work from previous students and shared a bit about the course. I knew most of the basic stuff about the course beacause i was convinced langara was my school. It wasn't until the last couple hours when my life came smashing down on me. They said the course is SUPER difficult starts at 7 30am till 6pm at night or longer. No lunch breaks. Thats okay I didn't expect school to be easy. It wasn't until they handed me a 50 multiple choice test along with an two page Essay and math quiz. I thought i would get the multiple choice but it was deadly it asked questions that were far far above my head. Talking about studio lighting and if you moved it in a certain area what would you change your lighting settings and camera settings too? Up or down, overexposed underexposed. By the last 30 questions I was guessing, It was probs most C's. I was shaking, aren't we suppose to come to school to LEARN this stuff? After dealing with that, not really dealing. I moved on to the Essay, lets just say Cavey would be pissed. It was horrible I was rushing through it cause i just wanted out. The room was closing in, it was hot, i couldn't breathe. It was terrifying, then the last part MATH. I'm an essentials girl, it was last year. I don't remember anything. I can't believe it but i left it blank and ran out of that room so fast. I feel so embaressed and stupid. I thought college was suppose to be exciting, but it made me think if i can actually do this. Of course I will not make it into the course, I put ALL my eggs in one basket and look at me know. My grad trans are gone. done.

Just waiting for God to open another door, it seems stuck. Where do I go from here? I feel like the biggest failure.