TATTOOS :)

So i'm turning 18 in a couple days and i'm begging my folks for a small tattoo, these are some of my ideas :)

life's like this..

I could quote Avril all day but that won't help anyone will it? Life's been slowing down thankfully. The only stresses I got is my future. Which is still stressful, but I know I can handle it. I applied properly today to Langara College. (Last time I didn't pay in time so they don't even bother to look at my application). So since I did that now all I can do is wait. If i get accepted, I will be going in September 2011 to the "Professional Photo-Imaging" Program. If not, I will be working lots. Hopefully finding a job and making my way to Mexico for a missions trip.
In March 2010, last spring break I drove to California with my mom and my friends and their mom. In California we went to Disneyland for a couple days, then drove to Palm Springs where we met up with a group in which we then drove into Mexico. Disneyland was fun, but Mexico was 100 times better. A little bit of background... We spent a week in Vicente Guerrero, Baja Mexico in an Orphanage for children. I will post some pictures to help explain my amazing amazing trip :)

The first stop we had in Mexico was for lunch. We decided to stop at a beach, as soon as the van drove up to the beach there were 4 little boys running up to the van trying to sell us food and bracelets. As soon as I got out of the van I realized we weren’t in the US no more. From that moment on I knew we were somewhere completely different than what we’re use too.

The mission we stayed at was a home for children. They take in orphans and give them homes to stay in. But the thing that is different from normal orphanages is here they get house parents. 8-12 kids are put into a Casa (Home) and are able to grow up in a family environment. Getting to hear the stories about these house parents is amazing, they have so much to take on. Some even take care of their children as well as many others. We got to give the parents a night out as we watched the kids. They were really happy and appreciated it a lot !

 Our home ! (Above)

The first day we got to go to ‘Rancho De Cristo’ it was a ranch for men who were getting over addictions. One of our leaders Urel use to go there and recovered his drug addiction there. So he was the one who showed us around. We got the chance for a tour of the place, what was really neat was how all these men were the ones doing the work. They were the ones building the houses and outhouses. A lot of them were really excited to see us, Urel told us when they see us it gives them hope. After lunch we got the chance to pray with them.

Twice a week we got the chance to do Child Evangelism and it was where we went out with one of the teachers from the missions and went to a small community to teach the kids a bible story and give them milk and peanut butter. Our teacher was Carmen, she drove through the little town. She handed me a speaker to hold out the window as she used the microphone to call all the kids to the church. So all you see are these kids popping their heads out of their shacks with huge smiles and running behind the van to the church. As soon as we sat in the church each of us (Me, Bethany and Mom) had 3 or 4 kids grab our hands and sit on our laps. After the story we got the chance to hand out milk and peanut butter. Each kid brought their own cup for us to fill. As soon as it was done and the kids turned away, a young girl about 14 or so came up to me and shook my hand, kissed me on the check and looked into my eyes and said thank you. As soon as she said that, and ran to catch up with everyone else is when I lost it. I couldn’t keep myself together, it made me think how little these kids get but how happy they are. The kids might never get a chance in life, they live in shacks and have nothing and it makes you wonder if you’ll ever see them again or how their life’s will be

Me and Bethany got the chance to go to work in the daycare for the day. These kids have parents but mostly just leave them home alone locked up in a room for the whole day while they go to work. So people in the mission go out with a van and pick the kids up to stay in the daycare till 2pm. When the kids got their we took their clothes off and bathed them. There were about 17 kids. After showering them we put on the daycare uniforms. A lot of the kids didn’t have socks or underwear so we gave them some to wear for the day. After that we fed them and then played with them outside. They always seemed to have a smile on their face they’d want me and Bethany to just pick them up and hold them. One boy wouldn’t let go of me he’d just stick onto me. And its probably because at home he doesn’t get it. After playing with them it was about time for lunch then time for them to go home. As week changed them back into their old clothes some of them just had a tank top and ratty pants. Some with no underwear or socks. The kids must love to go to the daycare where they get food and a chance to play with someone. They get a chance of people to just hold them and love them.

 Every year all the girls in the mission are invited to a tea party. The week that we were there was the time it was planned. So Friday we got the chance to decorate the theatre for the girls, and even put on a play. Seeing all the girls dress up in dresses and getting their hair done was so great. Some of these girls would have never got the chance to do something like that ever. So putting on the tea party was defiantly worth the smiles of their faces.

So that was my trip in a nut shell. If you ever have the opportunity to do something like this I highly suggest that. I hope to live at the Orphange for 3 months and do this type of work... This kids are amazing. They have nothing, yet they are the happiest kids in the world.

alone

Often, I find myself wanting to be alone, but my biggest fear is that I will be.

worth loving for

Sleep

"Because as human beings, what we can’t have, is what we replay in our heads over and over again before we go to sleep."

I'm sorry I'm A Christian

Today I've got this poem in my head. All thanks to Rebeckah Ho <3 In English we are presenting poems/songs and we have to search up the lyrics and discuss them with the class. Beckah, being the responsible student she is, went up and presented this poem called "I'm sorry I'm a Christian" whom which one of her friends wrote. Usually i tend to not listen in English, but today hearing those words i can't get them out of my head. It got be thinking of how many times I've said these things to myself but I'm way to scared to admit it. There are no lukewarm Christians, and in order to follow God in all his glory we need to stand up and admit our wrong. So many time Christan's get a bad rep and even though we can't change the past i believe 100% we change the future.

Check out the poem...

I am a Christian. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for the way that I come across
So fair and faith friendly and full of myself
Judging your spiritual health by
the words that you say
And the way that you dress, and the things that you do
Or maybe just judging you.
I’m sorry for the way that I live my life
So confident of my own beliefs that
I would never even think to think about thinking about yours
I’m sorry for the wars.
Ivory clad Crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords
With such a spirit that if The Spirit spoke they wouldn’t hear
But you see the sword of the spirit was not a sword but the Word
And the Word was with God and the Word was God
And they preached this as they marched on the Holy Land
Singing and Praying and Killing and Slaying
And purging and healing and raping and stealing
It’s ironic that they lined their pockets in the name of God
Just like the priests who line their pockets in the name of God
Just like the people that you can’t stand, because they always raise their hand
And spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God
I’m sorry that I take God’s name in vain
Or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God
Defending my selfish actions as selfless actions pertaining to the will of God
I’m sorry for being intolerant
For trying to talk down to you
For trying to talk over you
For not letting you talk
I’m sorry for not walking the walk
For being a hypocritical critical Christian
Criticizing your pagan lifestyle while my lifestyle styles itself
Just like the televangelist’s hair
All slick and sly and slippery
As the silver syllables slide their way into your ear
But see that’s my greatest fear
That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak
So that when I speak all you hear of me
is a weak hypocritical critical Christian
Doing one thing, but saying another
Loving my friend, but hating my brother
It’s a show.
I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays
and go to church on Sundays to pray
for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays
And on that note,
I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross
And the walls and the steeple
Because see, the building is not the church
The church is the people
I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay
I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you are gay
Instead of loving I jump to hatred
Mouth open and tongue preaching
Eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me
Just a fucking human being
I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends
And we do nice Christian things
Like pot luck dinners and board game nights
While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again
Another homeless man died again
Is this the way that my own crowd has been?
But here I am with the same friends again
But see what I always forget is that Jesus didn’t come
to hang out with the priests and the lords.
No, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores
Love
I’m sorry for history
For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church
Lodges burning Stomachs churning and yearning for justice
And mothers screaming and pleading
Pleading for the young ones
As they are dragged away to church schools
Where they were abused
I’m sorry for the way that I refused to learn your culture
Instead I just came to spread the Gospel
And the plague
I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics
Screaming at fifteen year old girls as they enter
Instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave
I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands
When historically it was on your lands that my faith was born
And in the face of the storm, I realize that
If God is Love and Love is God
Then why are we shooting instead of sharing?
Why are we launching instead of learning?
Why are we warring instead of walking together?
Why are we taking instead of talking together?
Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together as brothers?
You see, I think that God looks down and He’s sad

Jesus asks where is the Love?
And if it takes Wil-I-Am and Justin Timberlake
Asking that same question for us
To start asking that same question
Then where the fuck are we headed?
So I will take this stage to be my chapel
And this mic my confession booth
And in the presence of God, the few, the proud,
and the blessed I confess, that
I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

me neither

how do you...

How do you tell someone you care when your best friend always seems to get in the way?

bitersweet memories

The plays done, somewhat I'm so excited to have my life back but yet so sad I don't get to see all the people i've spent my last 4 months with again. Lifes back to normal and i'm not so sure I want it to be normal again. Macbeth was a huge success, it's funny because me and becky weren't even planning on joininng the play at all this year. My life would be totally different if we hadn't.
It's weird when you think you know someone then they turn their back on you. It's sad how fast people can change and how different your life's can be.
Valentines days is coming near, not one of my favorite "holidays?" Most likely because I don't have anyone to spend it with. To me, it just kinda seems like a day to look at all the people who don't have someone special and make fun of them for it. Hopefully this day will pass and I won't even notice it had come. Or maybe I shall have someone for that day... who know? Like I said people can change.. and fast. I hope that person realizes I care about them so much more than they may know....

 

PS - I might have mentioned I totally love these necklaces, Hey Valentine it would be an awesome gift ;)

Have you ever?

Have you ever thought about life that way? Every second, every minute, of every hour, of every day. The weeks go by and so do the months. Then it’s a new year. You’re getting older as the time goes by. And quite frankly, time goes by fast , if you’ve ever thought real hard about it. Where are you now? What is your life like? You have so many questions. Not so many answers. Do you often look at people around you and wonder what has happened or what is happening in their life? We all stress about many things, care to much about what other people think. Sometimes I really don’t understand anything and I just want to scream. I know there must be people out there who always seem to feel alone. Sometimes you just need to take those baby steps to the next big thing. Learn from mistakes, or learn something new perhaps. Smile, and be happy. Don’t be afraid even when you think you can’t be anything else but that.

coming home

I know that we're taking chances,You told me life was a risk, I just have one last question; Will it be my heart Or will it be his?

To bed to bed!

Quoting Macbeth! When will this end? I pray you school yourself. AGH. This is it. Production week. Insane crazy. Stressful. And on top of it we still have school. Can it just be canceled this week? I think so. Life's been all over the place up's and downs high's and low's, but I know this will all change soon. It will defiantly be bitter sweet. Till now? I shallest leaveth you.