completely broken

When people say don't take things for granted, you really shouldn't. Today has been one of the hardest days for me. I found out that someone i really look up too, someone i trust and someone who's been a leader for me for 6 years is gone. He's not gone gone, but it's not gonna be the same way. In that moment that he told all of us, i broke down. Why? Because i went back to the first day i met him, 6 years ago. And i can remember exactly how that day went. Over the years we've both grown and he has been the one that has helped me with my faith and grow closer to God. He is someone that is very important to me, and now in 2 months time he's gonna be gone. I imagined growing older and coming back to help him in his work. But now, he's gonna be gone. I feel so sorry for the kids that never got to even know him. It's not his fault this has happend. But i ask God why he does this, is this suppose to benefit us? Cause it sure doesn't feel like it. I can't imagine what he's going through, after working so hard and putting so much time into all of us kids. This has been his life for the past 6 years and now all he's done is totally done done. Being the oldest in the group i couldn't even keep it together when he told us the news. I thought that since i was the oldest i should be able to be an example to all the other kids. But instead, i broke down. He was a mentor to me, he was the one that i have always gone too. Now since he is gone, i dont want our group to end. i don't want us kids to be alone and not do anything. Just because he is gone doesn't mean we will stop. This will only make us stronger.